So it turns out you can, in fact, teach an old dog new tricks

It works like this: E arrives home from work. Bubs sees him and runs ahead with his sights on the fruit basket. He lunges up and down on his toes, pointing and babbling urgently "here go, here go, here go!" E gets a banana down, cracks it open, at which point Bubs plops on the floor and refuses the banana until E also plops on the floor creating a suitable banana-eating lap. Once E is seated on the floor, and Bubs is seated on E, the banana consumption begins.

See?

Good Daddy! Smart Daddy! You're learning. Now, let's see if we can find you a biscuit...